MindThe Beginner

Do you feel uncomfortable looking at this image? Most people would, but not all for the same reasons. Some might have a fear of being trampled or not being able to move but others just don’t like to interact.

At any given party where do you stand? Do you talk to everyone in the room or do you stand somewhere to the side looking round, feeling uncomfortable and wishing the night to end. I can tell you, I was that guy a long time. Just standing by the side and watching people having fun, talking with each other. Observing had an advantage, you could learn from others passively. But passive learning is never as good as actual experience.

Using the knowledge of listening as I described in my earlier post you don’t have to stand there and do nothing but it might take a step that you have been dreading all your life: talk to strangers. The simplest approach is often the best, just say hello. In time you’ll learn how to do that without feeling weird or making the impression of a psycho. And the more you say hello the easier it gets. Don’t overwhelm people but show genuine interest. Everyone has a story they like to tell you so let them. They feel good because they get to tell their story again and you can practice talking (and listening) Go out there and practice and you’ll quickly notice that you can talk to just about anyone.

Why would you want to be more social:

Social people are richer (I just won’t define rich here

Social people live longer This becomes very clear at old age, the elderly who don’t get visits anymore and become socially isolated quickly begin to go downhill. But it’s not only at old age that this happens. Anyone who does not have a lot of social interaction becomes unhealthy in one way or the other. Okay, Social interaction might not be a good idea in Mexico right now. I doubt people in social isolation will even notice the swine flu.

Social people get more opportunities Who knows, the stranger you talk to might just be an entrepreneur looking for a partner. Maybe that person works at a great small firm that’s looking to expand, he got the job to investigate this and he’s so enthusiastic about it he just can’t help talking about it.

Social people tend to attract other people What I want to say here is that if you’re the life of the party or the person everyone should meet you eventually end up not having to say hi anymore, people will come to you to meet you. They take the opportunities and all other benefit with them. And it all begins with getting out of your perceived safe haven of social isolation and saying “Hi!” with enthusiasm.

Social people are more confident (or are perceived that way at least)

I’d like to give you an assignment for the remainder of the week: Say hello to everyone you see, and make eye contact with. Don’t discriminate in who you talk to, discriminating is a sign that you might have a fear of talking to that “type” of person. Take every opportunity you have, you can practice listening at the same time.