Mind the Beginner

Have you ever:

• been so nervous you had a blackout?
• Had sweaty palms when entering a job interview?
• Been very agitated in traffic, which was reflected in your driving?
• had trouble just sitting still for a few minutes?
• experienced what it’s like to be a nervous wreck?
• been totally stressed out because you were late, even though the reason why was totally out of your control?

If you answer any one of these questions with “yes” this blogpost is for you. If you’ve answered none of these with yes you’re probably an ice cube. 

Relaxation and fear do not coincide. Tension is not a way to contain fear, it is an expression of it. — Peter Ralston

Being calm and relaxed in every single situation and at all times is nearly impossible but there are some things you can do that will make things better for you. The first thing you should do is identify what it is exactly that’s winding you up. Actually, what it is you are afraid of. Really take a good look at it and identify it for what it really is. Is it the end of the world? I sure hope not. Is it a matter of life and death? Again probably not. 

Ask yourself:

• What is the worst thing that can happen right now?
•  How likely is it that that worst thing really will happen?
•  What can I do to prevent things from getting worse?

When being stressed we tend to go past “common sense” and head straight for “total panic” inside our bodies. Our body gets pumped up to fight or flee. However, in just about any occasion this reaction – that got in our system to protect us from predators – only makes things worse. There are no sabretooth tigers out there ready to sink their teeth in you at a moment’s notice. (Although some people in corporate hell might have a different opinion about that one.) The one thing you can do right now to prevent things from getting worse is become focused and relaxed. When being relaxed our judgement returns and we can think clearly again to deal with the challenge that got us stressed.

So what can you do right now to get calm

It’s so incredibly simple that hardly anyone uses this but it really does work and is quite powerful. Sit down, place your hands on your lower belly and take at least three very deep and slow breaths. Breathe towards your hands and slowly let the air out again. Feel the air as it passes trough your nose, in and out. I promise you, you’ll almost instantly feel yourself get relaxed.

Go ahead, give it a shot right now and notice the difference. Read this nice quote while doing so:

If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good. – The Dalai Lama

How’s that for instant relaxation.

And now for the fun bit

After getting in this relaxed state press down softly in the palm of your left hand with your right thumb. (This is what works for me, you can also snap your fingers instead or do something else simple that creates a sensory stimulation. It’s up to you.) Do the same thing every time you finish the deep breaths and you’ll program your body to respond to the sensory cue you give it.

In time your body will link that sensory cue with relaxation and you can use the cue alone will be enough for instant relaxation.

All it takes are three breaths and a cue

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Tags: calm, relax, stress

This entry was posted on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 1:57 pm and is filed under Skills and habits. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.