MindThe Beginner

Saying no is one of those things people often have trouble with. A simple two letter word that somehow can’t be said. So we end up doing all kinds of things we’d rather not or we get swamped with work because we’re the “that’s who you go to when you want something done” guy. Sounds a bit familiar?

It’s especially tough at university when you have a group assignment. It’s almost unheard of to say things like “Sorry guys, I’m not going to lift a finger all weekend. I have got more important things to do.” There is a distinct advantage of saying no however. If you do it from the get go of the project people instantly know you are not that guy to go to. They might also respect you for your transparency. Nothing is worse in a group than having someone say yes and then not doing what they said yes to.

“They don’t see you as very efficient but see you as being a slacker.”

I have been that guy on several occasions. Saying yes and not doing it. Why? A not-so-nice way of letting people know they can’t just dump all the tasks on me. I even got calls over the weekend and late in the evening with questions and requests. That had to stop and not doing it was the only tactic I knew at the time. And then there was that simple word I started to use. “No” No I can’t to that this weekend, No you may not have my phone number, no you can’t contact me during the weekend or after office hours, No! Guess what happened…

…The project was a success, things got done anyway, without me having to do things over the weekends.

This all does sound a bit antisocial now doesn’t it? It’s not what group participation is all about right? You got me there. But on the other hand, on the whole you’re supposed to be putting in no more than 40 hours a week working on education-related stuff according to the planners who design the whole education system. If you do 8 hours a day, 5 days a week you’re off for the weekend. Throw in skills like speedreading and mindmapping and you can reduce the hours you have to invest by 10. Apply the Pareto principle (or 80/20) and you can reduce the hours even further. Perhaps you could get away with 20 hours a week and still be on top of the game. This would mean 20 hours a week that you can spend on other things, and 20 hours your group mates might be jealous about.

So what happens? They don’t see you as very efficient but see you as being a slacker. You get more tasks delegated towards you because everyone has to pitch in the same number of hours right? Wrong! You learned to deal with things more efficient so you had spare time to do other things. Say no firmly and watch what happens. Explain how you work on things and that your weekends and evenings are not going to be utilized for this project.

Does it work this way for real? I’m sorry to say it doesn’t always. This is because people believe that the way they do things is the best way, the fastest way, the most efficient. So how can it be possible that they have to work in the evening and in the weekends? It’s because they actually work, and you’re a slacker. Don’t let this false logic fool you, say no and reap the rewards of your efficiency. You didn’t learn those skills to end up doing more work than the others, you learned them because you felt that things could be doen faster so you could enjoy other things in life as well.