Today I’d like to address a huge issue I’ve been fighting with all my life. A problem that through reading other blogs and talking to people seems to be a quite common problem: Not having the guts to take responsibility. I’m responsible for my own life, my own happiness and my own accomplishments in this life right? But I keep waiting for others to solve issues for me.
Take the Project Mojave for instance, now that I’ve found a probably viable niche I haven’t done anything to further the development. I’m scared shitless of the unknown and somehow the act of being in the project seems by itself a guarantee to success. (“If you do these simple steps you’ll get there”).. So I hang around and wait for the steps to happen. Laying responsibility outside myself. If I don’t do anything, nothing will happen. So I need to reclaim the responsibility.
I’m not making much sense here so let me try it from a different angle.
Playing the Blues
Beginning guitar players are constantly looking to buy a better guitar and amplifier. As if just the act of owning such a “perfect” instrument will make them a better player. “If only I can buy such and such… I’ll be so much better at it.” Likewise with gaming mice, running shoes, backpacks, Project Mojave. Maybe their hero is using a certain item and now they must have that thing too, being convinced that owning this item will instantly transform them. Of course the marketing divisions realize this and churn out “signature” items all the time. (Especially true in the guitar market.)
So it is with me and Project Mojave at the moment. There mere act of being in there should earn me money and my freedom. (Or so my subconscious is trying to convince me at all times, so I don’t have to actually do anything.) We shall not discuss the fact that I own several guitars and a stack of perfectly good books that -if I ever do more than just own them and really start to work though them- will make me quite proficient on a guitar.
Realizing you’re stuck in these patterns is the first step towards dealing with them. But how do you deal with them. This is where my problem is at. I don’t have a clue on how to deal with this issue other than to write about it and hope for an external ass kicking. As I’m writing this I also realize that the ass kicking should come from the inside. I should be angry at myself or disappointed or something, beating myself up about it.
Beating yourself up as reward
But that’s not going to be very fruitful. Beating yourself up about something won’t make you want to do it more right? I should reward myself for the things that I am doing, creating a positive feeling associated with those things I want to be doing.
So here is how I’m going to deal with the issue:
- Write this blog post and let you know that I have this problem
- See whatever external virtual ass kicking this brings (and perhaps some useful suggestions)
- Make an inventory of all the things I want to accomplish
- Define them according to “SMART”
- Break everything down to manageable steps. (I think this is the most important step)
- Schedule these small steps. (Using google calender)
- Doing the small steps and reporting back
- Looking for people who can help me with this. (I’ve already found someone who is going to help me get through those guitar books.)
If we boil that down a bit we can make this list usable by everyone:
- Commit by telling others
- Get their reactions
- Inventory goals
- Define goals through “SMART”
- Break down into manageable steps
- Schedule small steps
- Doing the steps and reporting back
- Find people to help with the steps
Well, there you have it. My eight step plan to claiming responsibility over my own life. Now to make the inventory… and celebrate every step of the way.