Comments on: The Great Clashing of Closed Minds

By: So You Wish to Register a Complaint?

So You Wish to Register a Complaint? — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:04:26 +0000

[...] just like you don’t want to hear others complain all the time. That is, unless you have a common subject to complain about in which case you get a group of people complaining to each other about the same [...]

By: Note to Self: Stop Trying to Save Ostriches

Note to Self: Stop Trying to Save Ostriches — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 19:38:29 +0000

[...] tried to help others with issues I though I had an answer to. Tried and failed I admit. For you see, there are a lot of [...]

By: Christiaan

Christiaan — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:23:18 +0000

Exactly right Chick,

Even the promise of something better is nothing compared to the security of right now. No faith in life it almost seems.

By: Chick J

Chick J — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:26:33 +0000

Good Day Christiaan,

Reading this article I remember a passage from Be Here Now by Ram Dass.

“Wow! Dig that self-pity. Isn’t that exquisite. Full bloom! What an extraordinary color. It must be a new brand of self=pity. A particularity fragrant variety. I just really want to smell that one. To sit and smell it for ever so long.”

People get so into the self pity or being a victim, they really like it. It scares them to leave what they know even if there is a promise of things getting better.

By: Karo

Karo — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:02:09 +0000

I can really relate to this. I’m actually one of those people who perpetually struggle with debt and money, and I’m making some drastic changes to address that. But I’ve known people who seem content to repeat the same complaints over and over and over, and as soon as you suggest a different course of action you’re met with a variety of reactions, but not one of them is appreciation or interest. They just want “understanding” and reassurance that they are not at fault and that they are right to feel upset, but in the end that’s not really working towards a solution. So far, my solution has been to rethink my relationships with people who are so closed off to change.

By: Christiaan

Christiaan — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 21:30:07 +0000

Thanks for that insight Joy. (And thanks for the tweet Carl :) )

It’s so confusing when you’re “trained” to find solutions and people only want you to listen and care. It’s frustrating to know (or at least, think you know) what the simple solution is and people just won’t hear of it, not taking responsibility but constantly complaining.

How do you deal with constant complaining in such a case?

Christiaan

By: Joy Arico

Joy Arico — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 21:09:25 +0000

Hi,
Carl linked this on twitter. It sounds to me that you are beginning to understand the human condition but somehow deem yourself above it.

People as a community want their opinions to be heard, and like to share what they are feeling. It doesn’t mean they would want to change or do something about that, they are just looking for love and compassion in a hard world.

When I voice a concern and someone (usually male) feels they need to throw out possible solutions; it is very unsettling. I am an adult and can deal with finding solutions on my own. The moment another person stops listening and starts throwing out advice; I feel like I am being looked down upon..NOT LOVED! It is not pity I seek, but a listening ear. I am sure I am not alone in this.

Thanks,
Joy