MindThe Beginner

More Twitter followers gives you more social status, a lot of Facebook friends will make you seem popular. If you’re “friends” with enough people you’re bound to become a success.

You just need a few more…

Impossibilities of networks

It’s quite impossible for humans to have active social connections with more than one hundred (yes, 100) people. And less is often reality.

You might have one or two really close friends, a dozen friends and a few dozen co-workers or class mates.

Are you keeping tabs with all of them? It’s doable. But add a whole list of people you’ve never met face to face and all of a sudden it becomes much harder.

Yet you struggle to keep up with them and keep interacting…

That was me

Hundreds of people being followed in twitter, reading dozens of blogs, subscriptions to newsletters. The list was almost endless.

I started loosing contact with people and missed important events in their lives. One day they were beginning bloggers, and before I knew it, they were huge. I missed the wave they were on because I didn’t keep tabs.

A kick in the head should do the trick, wake up and start paying attention. But it’s not that simple.

Waking up is a very hard thing to do and letting reality sink in is even tougher.

In a world were subscriber counts, twitter follower numbers and other numerical are used as social proof it’s all to easy to loose yourself and grasp every opportunity to increase that integer.

But, those numbers are people.

If you’re following 100 people on twitter, that’s 100 lives just like yours. People going about their daily business, struggling with the same problems and being insecure, they’re stuck here too.

There are a few people who seem to be “better” than others. The social media powerplayers, the a-list bloggers, the rockstars.

What sets them aside from others is that they found a way to deal with the distractions that are everywhere and actually focus on what it is they want.

These people are just like you, the same biological blueprint, just about as tech-savvy and sometimes doubting themselves.  It’s what’s being human is all about.

Will getting a bigger network solve your problems? Most certainly not.

The way forward is quality, not quantity.

Your first step

Do you use Facebook, Twitter, and RSS feed and/or anything else you’re subscribed to and constantly following? Great! There is a wealth of information there. But it’s to much of a good thing.

Start over, blank-slate or whatever you want to call it. Throw everyone out of your twitter list, empty your Facebook friends list, unsubscribe to everything.

If you need to, get a new twitter account, a new mail account. Whatever it takes.

Once you’ve done that, take a few deep breaths and walk away from the computer for at least a day. Fight the temptation to have a quick look, there is nothing to look at after all.

Repopulating

Now, take out pen and paper and write down the names of everyone you really do want to follow, along with a quick reason why. If you can’t find a reason, don’t put them on the list.

Once you’re satisfied with the list, go back online and follow those people and nobody else.

If you can’t recall a name, how important was that person to you? They didn’t resonate clearly enough with your ideas.

You won’t miss them.

I know it can be terrifying to delete everyone and yes, some people will be offended. But keep in mind that it’s better to have a few good connections, than hundreds of vague ones.

Good luck and let me know how things went!