MindThe Beginner

Recently I started looking at my blog again, after not being very involved over the past months. Things certainly have changed, in my life and on the internet. The first thing I noticed is that Twitter definitely isn’t what it used to be. Not only because Adobe Air stopped supporting linux, but also because there hardly seems to be any interaction left. It’s all about promoting self. Almost every tweet I see is about people promoting their new blogpost. I’ll have to take a good hard look and perhaps decide do abandon Twitter altogether if the time invested in it doesn’t have a return value.

The last months I’ve been hard at work with my traditional education. A bachelor’s in information science in case you wondered. More important in it’s effect on this blog however, is the job I do to earn some money the traditional way: I’m a librarian and host at the university library. A nice steady income stream, and lots of spare time on my hands to do some reading, writing and thinking.

And so there is a new opportunity to do some blogging, and some good old mind work to find at “what’s next”. I’ve been down this road before but the flat fact is that I don’t actually do what I must to reach these goals.

So why is this time going to be different?

As said, my job allows me to sit at a computer for several hours on end with little disturbance. At home, sitting at my desktop, I don’t do much that actually produces something. I don’t have a deliverable at the end of the day. And last night, laying awake till around 4 am it struck me. If I don’t actually produce anything, then what the hell am I doing?

A blogpost is the least I can do, I could also work on my programming skills, HTML skills or other computer-related stuff. My job consists of a silent environment I have to sit in for three hours on end. Okay, there are a few chores I need to do but all in, those take up about 30 minutes. That leaves two and a half hours in silence that I can do whatever I want will still getting my hourly wage.

Yesterday I spent those 2,5 hours reading Chris Guillebeau’s book, which I actually bought almost a year ago. I never got round to reading it, and as with all those typically American Personal Development books it has a way of speaking to you. It kept me awake and I ended up walking several T’ai Chi sets in the middle of the night trying to slow my mind down enough to sleep. No such luck, but I do know that my bedroom is to small for T’ai Chi.

The difference this time round. An incredible nagging feeling that it indeed can be done and that everything starts out small. Looking round the bloggosphere I stumbled across Spencer Haws’ blog and this too, and it too kept me awake.

Keeping it simpler

I’ve been dumping and selling a lot of stuff that has been cluttering my life. At the moment I have around 30 items for sale on the Dutch version of craigslist. And if they don’t sell, they are binned. I also binned a huge box full of stuff lying around. Next week I’ll be doing a second sweep and toss more stuff. No difficult stuff with counting items, just plain and simple “I don’t need this” followed by getting rid of it immediately.

As for that online income, just two small niche sites by December 31st with the goal of 1$ per day per site. Humble beginnings, but if those prove to work, I’ll set bigger targets. First it’s getting over the anxiety of actually starting this. And i know, I’ve been blogging about internet incomes for over two years now, and still haven’t properly done anything about it.

Even after blogging about getting from saying to doing I’m still at the same spot. Either this is going to be the case the rest of my life, or something really needs to change.

How do you start change

Clearly, simply letting the world know what you are up to doesn’t work, I’m proof of that. The main reason for things to change is because the status quo changed. And changed in such a way that the current state of things is no longer comfortable enough for one to stay in.

You don’t go to a doctor unless you absolutely have to, and sticking with a lousy job is preferred to quitting it and facing the uncertainty that comes after that. Unless you thrive on uncertainty that is. As long as change means leaving relative comfort/acceptable conditions and heading off into uncertainty hardly anyone will try change.

So as I see it, you have two options for change.

1) You really are courageous enough to stand up against uncertainty while your current situation is acceptable or

2) You’ll have to convince yourself that the current situation is not acceptable.

I’ve tried option one, and failed numerous times because my current situation is acceptable and I don’t like uncertainty. That is, that annoying voice in my head that tells me “You can’t do this, you’re not good enough” and all those other inner monologues I’m sure you can relate to.

Option two is the only way to go. Convincing yourself that the status quo is not okay. It is not okay to sit at a computer all day and have nothing to show for it. It is not okay to keep blogging about what you should do, when I don’t do it myself. It is not okay to make all sorts of lists of things I’d like to do, and never actually do them. It is not okay to die (preferably when I’m old) with regrets. It’s not okay to look back at the past years with regrets as well. Regrets are not okay, and at the moment, I’m generating a lot of them.

Introducing the three M’s

Three years ago, almost to the day (Oktober 28th, 2008 to be exact, I write purchase dates in all my books.) I bought my copy of the Four Hour Work Week, which actually got me started on this whole idea of blogging and all other internet things. And for nostalgia’s sake I’m rereading it. It won’t give me a deliverable, but what it will do is remind me again, why I started out on this journey in the first place. And I’m reading the book with a whole new perspective.

What has stayed with me the last years are three things I crave. Three things I really REALLY want. The Three M’s:

• Money
• Mobility
• Minimalism

Sounds a bit simple, but at least it makes a fine list. Let me explain them a bit further.

In order to do things, to have experiences, money is something you’ll just have to have access to, one way or the other. At the moment I’m getting it from my job at the library but it’s not enough yet. Seeing as I can’t work more hours a week, I have the option of finding a better paying job, (Which I won’t find, trust me on this one.)  or getting a second income. Here’s where that internet income rears its head again. It’s the only way I can supplement my current income of about €400.

Mobility, for me, comes in the form of a motorcycle, complete with panniers. I’ve been saving money for quite some time now but at the same time using some of those savings to complement my income in lesser months. My current income will actually allow me to save on a regular basis and I hope to buy a motorcycle come spring. Road trips across Europe will become possible.

This leaves the minimalism bit, getting rid of “stuff” feels great, and provides an additional small income to boot. Minimalism has always held my fascination, and if it’s an internet fad of not, it will keep being a part of me, and of this blog. Although I won’t be counting my possessions just yet I think I’ll do a weakly post on things that I’m actually going to keep and why. Which offers you a rare view into my private life as well. First up will be my computers (yes, plural) and computer-related stuff.

Getting there

Now to convince myself that the status quo is non-desirable, unacceptable, despicable even. Change must take place, or I’ll end up never really traveling, never really being free and independent. Time to make this dream, this ideal a reality.

First things first, as I’m sitting here behind my desk at my job: that $1 a day niche site. On to keyword research. I’m excited again!