Realisations

Are you Smart and Carefree? Or Dumb and Careless

Posted in Realisations on February 10th, 2010 by Christiaan – 2 Comments

carelessly carefree?

Are you carefree? Do you really believe you are? Or are you just not getting what it is you should care about. Let’s face it, you’re careless and not smart or witty enough to be carefree. Being carefree means having nothing to be worried about. You’re either dumb and don’t see the problems in your life or you really did make an effort and know that what all the things are that you could worry about. After identifying those you made short work of it and are now carefree. Good for you!

Assuming that you’re just as dumb as me and just as obviously careless let’s press on.

Identifying things to worry about

Take out a piece of paper and start writing right now. Take exactly one minute to write down what you are worrying about and don’t stop until your time is up. You have 1 minute (click and start writing)

If your list looks a bit like mine right there at the top wil be:

  • Money
  • Purpose in life
  • How you measure up to others

And lets not forget those classics like debt, uncertainties about your job and why your blog isn’t  as successful like those A-list blogs.

Stop it this instant!

Now you have your wonderful list of worries, it’s time to identify why they are there. For most of them it boils down to you just don’t care enough to do something about it! Check your worries, is there something on that list you can’t do anything about? Anything at all?

Yes that’s it, you’re being careless about your worries, doing nothing to get rid of them, letting them drain your energy day in day out. Oh yes, these worries drain you even if you don’t actively think about them. That’s what being careless is all about. You just lock them away in the back of your mind where they can wreak havoc undisturbed. And you’re wondering why you’re tired all the time right?

Now being carefree is a whole different ballgame. Seeming carefree at least because there is not a soul in the world who is totally carefree. It’s one of those “benefits” of being human. You get to worry about anything and everything during life.So, in the end, we’re all dumb and careless. It’s just a matter of dealing with it or not, your choice to make and your burden to live with.

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The Great Clashing of Closed Minds

Posted in Realisations on February 2nd, 2010 by Christiaan – 5 Comments

caged

The most common type of mind is the closed mind. Or so it seems…

“I’d better spend the money before it’s gone”

This weekend I had a small social get-together with the in-laws and their social circle. My girlfriend was celebrating her birthday and I can tell you, she has an open mind, which seems to be a rare thing these days in real life. On the net you can talk to loads of people who don’t react funny when you talk about personal development, lifestyle design and even minimalist living. Those are topics I would hesitate to discuss in real life, but you would think that keeping track of finances at least would be a good idea and people could see the sense of it. Especially those who seem to suffer from chronic financial struggle and debt.

Well, forget that idea

The topic quickly changed to the habit of smoking and how some people there really should quit. Of course the money-going-up-in-smoke issue was discussed at length. I wondered how much people could spend on such a thing and if they had a clue. Quite obviously the wrong question because some of the in-laws there know I keep track of every cent myself.

And then came the jaw-dropping moment:

Laughter about me tracking my spendings followed. The smokers concluded that if they didn’t spend it on tobacco they would surely spend it on something else, without ever knowing where the money went! They seemed to share a way of thinking that goes a bit like this: “I’d better spend the money before it’s gone”

I repeat: jaw-dropping moment.

As the evening progressed it didn’t get any better. Listening as a skill was in short supply. Everybody was talking about themselves and trying to best the others with an even unlikelier story. Mixed in were the occasional rants about self-pity, being victims of society and of course complaining about money -and the lack of-. You’d think that people discussing their problems would like to know how they could tackle such issues of life and perhaps make a change.

Another huge mistake

And then came the revelation as I heard a Heavenly choir sing to me: People like to be the victim, to shove all responsibility under the carpet and talk about how unfair the world is. It’s a safe place to be because it’s known and as most would agree: the unknown is very scary. It seems to be a taboo to talk about doing something you didn’t do before but should have done a long time ago. At least, talking to find solutions and asking others for their opinions, solving problems in life and developing oneself. How wrong I was. These people didn’t want solutions or a kick in the right direction, they wanted pity.

Taking responsibility for life and owning all your actions is terrifying apparently. This can not be done with a closed mind for the answers to problems and changing of habits are products of the open mind, ready for new things and uncertain adventures. Thinking outside of the boxed thoughts seems to me essential for change to occur and responsibility to be taken.

I don’t understand closed minds like these. Why wouldn’t people want to change the negative things in life and strive for better things? Why stay in the same place if there are ways to get out? Then again. I could be terribly wrong here and should be put back in my place. Who am I to act like I’m superior!

Closed minds are all around and more often than not clash with each other in a struggle for right of speaking. Not listening to one another and complaining about the unfairness of the world is what surely follows. Or so it seems…

What do you think?

Craziness, it’s just the way we like it

Posted in Realisations on November 10th, 2009 by Christiaan – Be the first to comment

Crazy?

If you’re a bit like me you’ve probably been told you’re crazy on a lot of occasions. Sometimes it’s a bit more subtle and you’re “just” called unrealistic or a dreamer but it can even go as far as being called totally insane. From time to time you come across others who have the same thing.

The Internet is one such place, a place where you can be yourself without getting into trouble for being crazy. You might be called eccentric but most likely you’ll be a unique voice and if you start blogging you’ll be sure to gather a lot of subscribers. The benefit is Internet instantly becomes clear: there are more people like you out there. If only one in a thousand people think like you do chances are you will hardly ever meet one in real life yet set up a blog on the subject and in no time you’ve got yourself a little tribe.

The truth is out there

But is craziness really crazy? Or is it just the opinion of the way a minority thinks. It’s out of sync with the norm and so it’s somehow wrong. The truth is not always the opinion of the majority after all.

The minorities however are on the rise. Talking with fellow students or colleagues probably will get a few raised eyebrows on the subjects of personal development and lifestyle design. The four hour workweek gets some laughs and looks of disbelief, the whole idea of passive income streams is all but ignored. Ignore the crazy folk.

Talking online and blogging however you can’t deny that these topics are definitely getting more and more attention. It might just get mainstream soon and in doing so it’s going to get harder and harder to be heard. Because that’s one of the benefits of being crazy. On the one hand you don’t get listened to because you’re crazy, on the other hand you do find yourself part of a tribe that does listen. Once that tribe gets to big it’s going to be a tough job staying one of it’s leaders.

Little league

A simple example: I blog about personal development, lifestyle design, minimalism and zen. ….ever heard of Zen Habits? Illuminated Mind? and of course the blog of Tim Ferris. A small time blogger like myself couldn’t possibly compete with these huge guns in the niche. Maybe if I started a few years ago I’d be one of them but as things are we’re down here. Proof that these ideas aren’t that strange after all although when looking at real life experiences only you wouldn’t know you were sane.

The Internet offers us so much. In real life our ideas might be called crazy, we’re the only ones we know who have them. While on-line there are so many people talking about the subject that we have a tough time making ourselves heard through all the twitter and chatter.

What can we do about that one? Either way it’s hard being heard. But what if you implement the lessons from real life into blogging? Write about something that seems totally crazy on-line. After all, it’s just another environment you’re in and in that perspective no different than your real life chats with people.

  • Being crazy makes you stand out;
  • standing out gets you noticed;
  • getting noticed gets you heard (eventually);
  • getting heard lets you share your ideas.

You meet all kinds of cool people who share your ideas or at least have an interest in what you’re writing. The world is big enough to build your own group around just about any subject. If you thought of it it’s certain others think the same. Blogging is the game of finding those people.

Call me crazy, but that’s how I see the on-line world. Millions of people, and we’re all crazy in one way or the other. Don’t be ashamed, it’s the place to be to find like-minded people. Speak up about your thoughts and you will be heard. Be yourself, be crazy and enjoy talking to the other crazies.