Mind the Beginner

The most common type of mind is the closed mind. Or so it seems…

“I’d better spend the money before it’s gone”

This weekend I had a small social get-together with the in-laws and their social circle. My girlfriend was celebrating her birthday and I can tell you, she has an open mind, which seems to be a rare thing these days in real life. On the net you can talk to loads of people who don’t react funny when you talk about personal development, lifestyle design and even minimalist living. Those are topics I would hesitate to discuss in real life, but you would think that keeping track of finances at least would be a good idea and people could see the sense of it. Especially those who seem to suffer from chronic financial struggle and debt.

Well, forget that idea

The topic quickly changed to the habit of smoking and how some people there really should quit. Of course the money-going-up-in-smoke issue was discussed at length. I wondered how much people could spend on such a thing and if they had a clue. Quite obviously the wrong question because some of the in-laws there know I keep track of every cent myself.

And then came the jaw-dropping moment:

Laughter about me tracking my spendings followed. The smokers concluded that if they didn’t spend it on tobacco they would surely spend it on something else, without ever knowing where the money went! They seemed to share a way of thinking that goes a bit like this: “I’d better spend the money before it’s gone”

I repeat: jaw-dropping moment.

As the evening progressed it didn’t get any better. Listening as a skill was in short supply. Everybody was talking about themselves and trying to best the others with an even unlikelier story. Mixed in were the occasional rants about self-pity, being victims of society and of course complaining about money -and the lack of-. You’d think that people discussing their problems would like to know how they could tackle such issues of life and perhaps make a change.

Another huge mistake

And then came the revelation as I heard a Heavenly choir sing to me: People like to be the victim, to shove all responsibility under the carpet and talk about how unfair the world is. It’s a safe place to be because it’s known and as most would agree: the unknown is very scary. It seems to be a taboo to talk about doing something you didn’t do before but should have done a long time ago. At least, talking to find solutions and asking others for their opinions, solving problems in life and developing oneself. How wrong I was. These people didn’t want solutions or a kick in the right direction, they wanted pity.

Taking responsibility for life and owning all your actions is terrifying apparently. This can not be done with a closed mind for the answers to problems and changing of habits are products of the open mind, ready for new things and uncertain adventures. Thinking outside of the boxed thoughts seems to me essential for change to occur and responsibility to be taken.

I don’t understand closed minds like these. Why wouldn’t people want to change the negative things in life and strive for better things? Why stay in the same place if there are ways to get out? Then again. I could be terribly wrong here and should be put back in my place. Who am I to act like I’m superior!

Closed minds are all around and more often than not clash with each other in a struggle for right of speaking. Not listening to one another and complaining about the unfairness of the world is what surely follows. Or so it seems…

What do you think?

Sitting there attending a lecture my mind starts to wander. Thoughts go all over the place and I think of anything but what is going on right here. Right now…

Does that sound familiar? If you’ve ever attended a lecture where the lecturer just wasn’t connecting with you I’m sure you can relate. Being in two places at one time or two times in one place is a constantly recurring problem that distracts our attentions to the here and now. We think about what we have to do after this lecture, or some place we’d rather be. This last thing is so important to us humans that we even have a word for the feeling of wanting to be anywhere else but here: boredom.

While you were reading this section of the blogpost, was that all you were doing or was your mid wandering a bit and were you still thinking about those few very boring lectures where you literally fell asleep and dreaming of coffee.

A good lecturer has the skills to keep you right there and then. One of my teachers in particular has this down to an art-from although he doesn’t believe so himself. What sets him apart from the others is that he doesn’t use powerpoint and a beamer to give his lecture. Blackboard after blackboard gets filled with usefulness and you better write it all down because you know you will need it on your exams. Other teachers use powerpoints so there is no essential need to write things down. After all, the slides will become available online after the lecture. Soon the mind starts wandering because the opportunity is there. Nothing is growing in front of you, it’s just instantly there and complete, no need to think, let alone trying to understand where things are going.

In short, your energy is constantly being divided between the present and some other time. The Zen solution to time-place dissonance, and all other problems related to, like anxiety and worry, is simple: Do only what you are doing in the present. Brilliantly simple and yet so hard to do. Maybe if we put it in other words: “Thought for today: No matter where you go, there you are.” A simple truth and something that has resulted in life-long studies and constant attempts of reaching this state. Sometimes also called mindfulness, a very popular phrase these days.

The quiet open mind

Going back to that lecture and boredom. You’re sitting there in that bench and there is no place you can go right? You have to be there, it’s either compulsory or you convinced yourself somewhere in the past that you needed to walk in to this classroom and attend this lecture. So there you are, craving coffee perhaps and desperately letting your mind wander. How about this thought: “As long as you have to be there, be there!” Think about that one next time your mind starts to wander.

An open, quiet mind approaching the task at hand enthusiastically. Knowing that whatever the task, you need to stick with it until it is done. The doing is more important than what gets done. After all, there is always more to be done so if you get your satisfaction from getting it done you will constantly struggle for the next fix. If you get your fix from the doing, your fix can be almost constant, only the finishing of the task gets in the way but shortly after you get to do something else. What bliss.

You get the most out of things if you actually are there while doing them. A fantasy or a dream of course will not give you that same satisfaction. But the trap of fantasy and dream is all to easy to slip in to, especially if you’re bored – that is – your mind is screaming it doesn’t want to be in this place you are right now.

It’s especially hard to stay focused if something goes wrong while you’re focused. A huge programming error that forces you to discard the code you wrote in the last two hours and start fresh. (although I doubt you’ll feel refreshed.) It will leave you with a reluctance to put in another two hours. What if you make another mistake and need to discard the code again.

Making mistakes and having hours of work reduced to uselessness is a fact of life. Everybody has that problem. It’s what you do when that happens that’s the interesting part. Do you give up and start daydreaming? Or do you realize that the task at hand is yours and you can get great pleasure from the doing. A programming error sucks, most definitely. But the act of programming itself (if you enjoy such things) is something to be enjoyed.

No matter where you go, there you are
No matter what you do, do it the best way you can
It’s not like you have anything else to do right now