Mind the Beginner

“If you just believe in yourself everything will work out”. How often have you heard that one before?

You can’t count the times? Neither can I.

Whenever we believe in something, who is the is that believes? Well, it’s the “we” who believe right? But who is we, or for that matter, who are “you” and who am “I”. We, you and I are just projections of our being, and we call it our self. Self is something we create in our own mind, it’s just an idea in our heads.

Believing in self

There is an idea in our head that’s called self. A creation of the mind, and yet we unquestionably believe it. Somehow when you put it that way, it doesn’t seem that good an idea any more now does it?

Let’s continue with the mind warping.

Excluding the actually experience of the present moment, everything is just a concept. None of the mind games like believing and self can actually relate to our real being. This is because we project our beliefs, assumptions and identity onto the self. Not onto the actual being.

Who is this self?

Our sense of self comes from what we’ve accomplished in life, what we do and don’t do, what we believe, what we own, even our name is part of the self. They are all concepts, ideas in our mind. Ideas and concepts are the fabric of self. Turning that round we can say that our sense of self is fabricated from concepts, ideas. Who is self? Self is a fabrication.

Let’s have a quick look at our self shall we?

As an example, do you know the moon orbits the earth? If you’ve paid a bit of attention in school you’ll answer this with “yes” right away. A good perception of the world, your concept and the truth can see eye to eye. Great!

Moving on to a different concept, consider something more personal, something about yourself. Isolate this idea for a moment and let it linger in your mind for a while. Savour it for a moment. Notice how quickly you can confirm the idea? After all, it is about you. You know what you’re talking about when it comes to yourself.

What happens when you don’t believe

Now consider something that you don’t believe. The earth is flat! Yeah right, that’s not true and you can’t understand anybody believing that it is true. You don’t identify yourself with this concept. Correctness is you, not correct isn’t you and it never will be. That’s something for “others”. You’ll have no part of it, you won’t go there. (And you wonder why it’s so hard to admit you are wrong.)

All this, this answering of questions, confirming or denying ideas happens within a heartbeat. It’s so fast in fact, that you won’t notice it unless you know what to look for. But it’s very significant. Because if it’s true or not is not the issue, it’s just one of those concepts that you’ve formed in your head. They relate to you, me and us but not to the being.

Believing or not will change you, it will not change the being. It’s just a concept, nothing more.

What is personal development all about? Did you ever wonder what it is that has people all fired up and wanting to change their lives? The brief answer to that would be “You have control over your own life, you just have to take it”.

But taking control means taking action in one for or the other. This blogpost gives you the three options you have this very moment. The -only- three things you can do.

Keep in mind that you are living in the present, it might be stating the obvious but it’s a key factor in taking control. You can not change the past nor can you change the future. You are living right now, right here. You read the first few lines of this blogpost in the past, and now too, this line has become past. Can you unread? Can you skip ahead a few seconds and know what you are about to read without ever having to actually read it? Of course not.

It’s stating the obvious but it I can’t stress it enough: This very moment is the only moment there will ever be that you have any direct influence on. Yes you can influence the future, but the only way to do that is to take action in this moment. If you;re not going to take action now, then when?

The first pillar

I’ve asked you to look around in a lot of previous blogposts and I’m going to ask you again. Where are you right now, not only physically but also mentally, professionally. Who are you right now?

After you have looked at yourself and your surroundings ask yourself if you are happy with this very moment. Do you like where you are? Or would you rather escape into some fantasy world about the future or daydream about how great the past was (”One day I will …” or “When I was your age I …” ). Postponing action to some future when things will be “better”.

As I said, you have exactly three things you can do in this moment. The first one is what I just hinted at: You can escape the present moment into either the past or future, perhaps even some alternative reality you have fabricated in your mind. The present is not a place where you want to be so you flee it.

Almost everyone flees the present, through daydreaming and fantasy or reminiscing about the past. Perhaps even the near past “I wish I was back in bed, it was to early this morning” or looking forward to the near future “I’m looking forward to having this blogpost online and reading your comments”.

There are more destructive ways of fleeing the present, in the form of addictions in all their disguises. Numbing the senses with alcohol or drugs, or even with medication like anti-depressants because the present is just to depressing and you don’t want to deal with it. Roughly 10% of US citizens is using anti-depressants and any given time. A further 8% of US citizens abuses alcohol. So that’s at least 8-18% of the population fleeing reality. I can’t find numbers on drug abuse but all included I can imagine one person in every five uses these extreme measures to flee reality.

Your first pillar: Flee the present

If you run away from the only moment you can influence, you can’t develop. Clearly not the best tactic if you want to change your life or develop your person.

The second pillar

Look around again, is there anything there you want to change? No? Wonderful! You completely accept the current position you are in. You’re content with life as it is at this moment and you don’t want to change anything.

You’re one of the lucky few who are content with the present. You have no urge to flee it or do anything to change it. Either that or you can’t bring yourself to take action and to stop whatever it is you are doing right now and do something else.

On rare occasions it’s true that you are completely content and wouldn’t want to change the moment. It’s far more likely though that you don’t have the guts to do something because the present is safe. You’re current situation -though not desirable- is a safe place to stay. You’re keeping the status quo because you’re unsure about what would happen if you took action. It might all blow up in your face, things could go terribly wrong and you would loose whatever safety you have right now.

Your second pillar: Passively accept the present

If you’re content, you don’t have to change anything. You don’t have to develop. All is well and you like the status quo. Enjoy it while you can because you never know how long it will last. Rest uneasy, nothing is permanent.

The third pillar

The third option should come as no surprise. The first to pillars don’t have much to offer when it comes to personal development. It’s all coming down to this last option you have.

Look around once more, are you content with the present moment? Are you getting everything out of life that you want? Are you living the dream life? No! There is more to be done, things that could be better or different. You don’t flee the present but you’re not happy with how things are going right now.

Your third pillar: Act in the present

This one pillar is at the core of the entire personal development movement. Being unhappy with how things are going and wanting to change your life. The other two pillars are constantly trying to lure you away though. They are the easier options, there is no work involved, you just have to sit there and do nothing. And that is exactly what you are doing most of the time, just sitting there letting life pass you by, second by second. Those seconds will never come back, that moment is gone forever and the current moment isn’t the same.

Yes it’s frightening once you realise it. Your entire life is this moment, and it’s only in this moment that you can act. If not now, when?

Will you regret reading this blogpost? Did you do something to make today count? Are you innovating, inspiring others or bettering yourself right now? Are you waiting for just the right moment? Who or what are you waiting for?

Where you are today is the accumulation of all your choices in the past

What is your excuse!

If you’re doing the same thing today that you did yesterday or last week you’re probably not making an effort to get where you want to be. Take the first step today or at least admit that you’re slacking.

How often is it that you hear people giving you excuses for things that they need to be doing. We humans are just plain lazy, working for something seems like a strange idea. You’d rather things just pop into place without any effort right? We all hope for that to happen but unless you’re totally ignorant you know that it’s not going to happen by itself. Depending on who you quote things left to themselves either stay exactly the same or go from bad to worse.

Let’s compare:

• You want things to pop into place by themselves but,
• left to themselves things stay the same or go from bad to worse.

Why is it then that you don’t do something about it? You’re still reading this blogpost right? Do you really think that reading this post will make things pop into place? You know better.

Blaming yourself

Looking back at my life there are a lot of instances that I should have stopped making excuses and looking for ways to slack. There are so many things in my past I wish I did differently and I’ve got myself to blame for all those missed opportunities. But do you know the problem with blaming yourself? you stay stuck in the past and thoughts about would have, should have and could have. I could have been a great guitarist if only…, I could have been a great martial artists if only…, I could be in far less debt if only… Just a few of the many things that are lodged in my mind.

I’ll be damned

But you know what? It’s not about what you could, should or would have done. It’s what you do this moment that counts, yesterday is in the past and tomorrow is in the future (how obvious what that one). Today is the present, it’s a gift that you had better accept and be happy with.

Where you are today is the accumulation of all your choices in the past. That is the essential sentence here because today will be yesterday tomorrow and so you can add todays choices to your past and slowly but surely form your path. You can’t change the past but you can put a lot of good things in it. And so if you don’t want to condemn yourself to feelings of regret in the future about all the things you didn’t do today go do them! Don’t give yourself any excuses or you will regret them when the time comes to reflect on what you did. Don’t give yourself any excuses you can beat yourself with.

I know it’s quite obvious. But why don’t you implement this and take action today? Admit it, you’re doing right now what you will regret tomorrow.

I was watching “Kung Fu Panda” yesterday and for those who’ve read a bit about the tao this movie is full of nice little references to it. One of the nicest quotes from the movie is from the old wise turtle/kung fu master.

Yesterday is a memory.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift.

That’s why they call it the present.

That’s the Tao for you, it’s so overly obvious we all seem to forget it.

For most of us the present is filled with promises, ideas and beliefs about the future and pain, uncertainty and doubt the past has planted in our minds. But what if you could unpack your present and find only today in it? Without the limitations brought on by the past and the illusions from the future.

This way of thinking severely blocks the “Western” mind that’s evolved around achieving things, always seeking the next best thing and never being happy with what is going on right now… hardly even noticing what’s here right now. Receiving gifts is a skill we’ve all but forgotten.

Okay, a bit of a sidetrack here but bear with me, there’s a message here.

In the western world we tend to judge a gift by it’s value (in dollars) and by the prestige it will give us “Look at me with my new iPod.. it’s expensive as hell..”  Kids who grow up in this enviroment quickly learn this way of unpacking and clearly show disappointment when the gift wasn’t exactly what they wanted. It’s not good enough.

Now we jump to Japan, and the way they treat presents. For starters the way it’s packed is as important -if not more so- that what’s in it. The gesture of giving is all others will see for presents giving on a party stay packed untill everyone goes home. You might wonder why this is but it’s simple:

- If the present is a disappointment people won’t see it

- It’s impossible for the giver to boast about what he has given. The value stays unknown

- And so every present is equal

- (It’s also good form to give a present back, bot with a slightly lower value as to not let the whole thing get out of hand.)

Now back to our present day. As soon as you project expectations onto the gift you’re bound to end up disappointed every once in a while. The Western approach of “what’s in it” is more important than the gesture. Whereas the Japanese approach is to accept every present wholeheartedly and treat it exactly for what it is. A gesture of friendship, love or gratitude that should be treated with the utmost respect. The giver after all has no intention of disappointing you or giving you less than you deserve in their eyes.

And so, treat every day as a gift, don’t be disappointed and know that you get what’s yours to receive.